this is what fair looks like
so. i suddenly had a stroke of creativity and after ions and ions of me saying"oh i would never be able to do anything musically related". i mean, i guess i'm just rambling (point of the webpage i guess), but i just wanted to share these small tidbits of planning i did - in case i abandon it and forget about it HAHA
this is what fair looks like
- birthday cake ice cream
- where did you go
- failing poetry
- two weeks notice
- old him, new me
- out of place
- knots
- nénuphars
track 1: birthday cake ice cream [havent't finished it]
i want you to be my birthday cake ice cream
the type that i love and everyone hates
(for whatever reason reason reason)
you're hard to find
(for whatever reason reason reason)
are you hiding from me?
i want you to be in freezer twenty four seven
but you tend to disappear
(for whatever reason reason reason)
track 2: where did you go [definitely NOT finished yEESH, i think i just thought of a tune and started writing]
oh where did you go
i just don’t believe
that you could’ve flown
down deep into the depths of
….
track 3: failing poetry [not finished]
i find myself not able to write poetry
i find myself not knowing what to do with all the words in my head
i find myself trapped in this world that starts spinning
when all i really need are
just these few words
out of my mouth
track 4: two weeks notice
asleep and naive
not knowing much
that’s the way we’re born into this world
we continue through
asleep and naive
not knowing much
until something slaps us awake and sobers us up
my plan to give you
your two weeks notice
never came
the slap in the face
a bit too early
leaving me as hurt as the girl
that tyler sang his song about
i planned to end it
knowing my eyes were fluttering open
slowly too slowly
and not quite enough
time enough to see
a sudden resignation
happen in front of me
my plan to give you
your two weeks notice
never came
and now being awake
i can finally see
that the signs i glimpsed at
were you figuring out
just how soon the two weeks notice
would come
beating me to the end of my slumber
and throwing this cold water
into my face
we come into this world
asleep and naive
not knowing much
and here i left this post
shrewd and awake
now understanding
that this slap in the face was there
all along.
track 5: old him, new me
when i try to sleep
i find myself thinking of a world
with an old him and new me
i imagine the past and what could’ve been
with an old him and new me
but i know you’ve moved on
and that i have too
but when i think of the old him and new me
and can’t help thinking of what could’ve been
when i find myself drifting off
only in a dream world do old him and new me live
waking up and enjoying the day
but only inside this dream do i get to wake up
with the old him and a new me
but i know you’ve moved i
and to an extent i think i have too
but i always love to think about
the old him and new me
ponderin on what coulda been
*any chance you’ll cut your hair?* (in that weird voice memo grainy type sound)
track 6: out of place
listening to all these people
with stories to tell
makes me feel unworthy of your time
i need to have heavy heart, heartache and all forms of heartbreak
to sing a song and do a dance for the attention i crave
with no stories to tell i worry
am i just out of place to you?
do i have to worry about needing you?
i feel out of place here, but
is that true to you?
like toad, something’s always wrong
but all i want is to scream about things you won’t hear
because if it isn’t heart wrenching, about heart aching or the art of heart breaking
there isn’t a tale to spell
with no stories to tell i worry
am i just out of place to you?
do i have to worry about needing you?
i feel out of place here, but
is that true to you?
in the end i’ll still be here
wondering if i could ever be good enough
good enough for anyone to hear
with no stories to tell i worry
am i just out of place to you?
do i have to worry about needing you?
i feel out of place here, but
is that true to you?
track 7: knots [half done?]
i contemplated writing this
questioning if it would be worth my time
scared to put pen to paper
upon hearing a small squeak
confirming that you’re on to me
with each knot in my hair
you tease, tug and tear each one out
only to forget that you’re the one
in knots in the end
track 8: nénuphars
if i
could write a song
in french nonetheless
i could
i would
i should
i would name it
nénuphars
for the way that they float carefree
ready for someone to capture their beauty
an impression of them
if i could write this song
i’d write about how strong they are
growing in any mud
soil
and water
lying here i wish
i could
i would
i should
be like les nénuphars
and grow into something strong
no matter what
bridge lay ahead of me
what waters i find myself in
or which impression is taken of me
i can
i will
i shall
be these nénuphars
si je pourrais
je voudrais
je l’aimerais tellement si
je pouvait juste être ces nénuphars
si calme
si forte
je deviendrais ces nénuphars
i can
i will
i shall
i dunno
thats the extent of it
i have these odd voice memos of hums and tunes but i doubt i'll ever really use them...